War On Terror

Roughly as successful as our Wars on Poverty¹, Drugs² and Plastic Plants³.

We do not have a good track record when it comes to fighting nouns.

¹ Introduced January 8, 1964, by President Lyndon B.Johnson.

² Introduced by President Richard M.Nixon in 1971. Picked back up under President Ronald Reagan, who re-gifted it to his wife Nancy so she'd have something to do besides sitting around looking skeletal pretty.

³ Introduced by London-based soft-psychadelia punk band Regular Fries. It's "meh."

*Has now been replaced by "The Long War".