Jack Abramoff

Born February 28th, 1959, Jack Abramoff is a famous lobbyist who apparently possesses a strange unique personal energy field that causes Presidents and Senators to forget meeting him. He stole money from Native American tribes, perhaps because he got confused and thought we was born in 1859 instead. He helped [Tom DeLay] get a whole lot of money for a whole lot of Republicans (the infamous K Street Project) and, in support of the theory that he may believe he was born in 1859, is an offical Bush Pioneer, which does not in fact mean that he moved to Oklahoma as one of the Sooners for the Bush family but instead that he personally donated over $100,000 dollars to George W Bush's election and re-election campaigns and has exchanged emails with the President, emails which sadly the President can no longer remember.

The list of scandals and investigations Mr. Abramoff is linked to is far longer that recounting them here would suit, and also, he was really only convicted of a measly five felonies anyway. That's nothing.

Some of the sources of this pos:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A53609-2004Jul15.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/03/AR2006010300474.html

http://web.archive.org/web/20030612020908/http://gtlaw.com/bios/govadmin/abramoffj.htm from the article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Abramoff