George Walker Bush (1946- )

43rd President of the United States, appointed to office in 2000 during a highly contested vote count, ultimately decided by the Supreme Court as headed by Chief Justice Antonin Scalia. Son of 41st U.S. President and namesake George Herbert Walker Bush and reelected in 2004 by a slim popular majority, alternatively known as a clear mandate.

The 43rd President's two terms have been marked by a multitude of tragic events, including the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001, as well as the on-entry destruction of the space shuttle Columbia, the devastation of New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina, and the death of Fred Rogers.

The administration has also been plagued by scandals, including several controversial no-bid contracts offered to Haliburton (a company from which vice-president and avowed enemy of Whoville Dick Cheney still draws a healthy income), the outing of Valerie Plame, the contribution scandal involving Jack Abramoff, the questionable legality of NSA wiretapping, alleged gasoline price gouging, the excesses of the Patriot Act, and good heavens, those are just some of the ones we KNOW about.

The administration has involved the United States in two wars, most recently in Iraq, and prior to that in ... hold on ... it's on the tip of my tongue. I was thinking of it this morning, I swear I had it, one second ... Let me check the news...

Well, no help there.

More than that, the presidency of George W Bush has been pockmarked by a wide array of failed goals (see empty promises), including the introduction of legislation to encourage production of hybrid fuel and alternative energy vehicles, a manned mission to the planet Mars, a crackdown on human-animal hybrids, a crackdown on steroid use in professional baseball and professional football, a crackdown on human-animal steroid use in professional -AFGHANISTAN! That's what I was thinking of, Afghanistan! Jeez, how could I forget? (How indeed)

Sorry, I meant to say that there's also Harriet Myers and the catastrophic attempt to privatize Social Security, both of which went the way of the Dodo, among others.

Bush is a former alcoholic who credits his faith as a born again christian with curing his addiction.

Bush sort of falls down every now and again. Neither the pretzel nor the Segway are his friends.