The Scandal Cheat Sheet | At A Glance

In alphabetical order, as comprehensive a list of known scandals, fumbles and outright lies as embraced by the Administration of George W Bush:

1. 2000 election: All of the scandals, fumbles, and outright lies of the Bush administration are even more galling when you consider that the guy was never elected president in the first place.
2. 2004 election: Easily hackable electronic voting machines, identical numbers of Republican votes in counties historically leaning towards Democrats, a slim victory declared a "mandate" - at least we're finally back on track following the hanky-panky of the 2000 election.
3. Abramoff Scandal; Lobbyist Jack Abramoff is indicted on wire fraud charges, found to have been a figure of influence with several Republican representatives as well as members of the Bush Administration.
4. Abu Ghraib; Military prison in Iraq where photographic evidence revealed systematic torture committed on the part of U.S. soldiers against Iraqi prisoners.
5. Blackout, New York City: A crumbling infrastructure is exposed when New York suffers a total blackout. The Bush Administration responds sometime in the future as of this writing, maybe, no promises.
6. Democracy, U.S. attitude towards; Despite alleged pursuit of global democracy (see Iraq War, Inconsistent reasons for), the Bush administration has repudiated the results of democratic elections in Venezuela and Palestine and cozied up to undemocratic leaders in Pakistan and Uzbekistan.
7. Dictatorship, U.S. attitude towards; Despite having fought two wars allegedly to overthrow totalitarian regimes(see Iraq War, Inconsistent reasons for), the Bush administration has promoted a personality cult around the President and supported restricting civil rights in Amerca.
8. Downing Street Memo; A 2002 internal memo which alleges that the Bush administration knowingly fabricated evidence of WMDs and terrorist threat to rationalize an invasion of Iraq.
9. Enron; Taxes-based nationwide energy concern collapses after sex straight years of contempuous accounting fraud. Major Bush campaign contributor and Enron officer Kenneth Lay, once slated for the post of Secretary of the Treasury, is later indicted for his role.
10. Federal Communications Commission, Politicization of: A (bleep) of (bleeping) proportions.
11. Flag-Draped Coffins, hiding of; In an apparent attempt to hide the fact that american soldiers were dying in Iraq, the administration attempted to cover up images of flag-draped coffins coming home and being offloaded from carrier planes.
12. Geneva Convention, Violations thereof; Quite a score of which are being racked up as we speak.
13. Guantanamo Bay; In clear violation of American Law and the Geneva Convention, terrorism suspects are being held at this location, many of whom without having been formally charged.
14. Haliburton; A font from which scandal pours. Controversial no-bid contracts are offered repeatedly to the company, from which Vice-President Dick Cheney continues to draw an income.
15. Harriet Miers, nomination; White House counsellor, Bush love-letter-writer and Not-Judge, Harriet Miers was nominated to join the Supreme Court by President Bush on October 3rd, 2005. She withdrew her own nomination on October 27th amid deserved controversy.
16. Hurricane Katrina; Federal response to this natural disaster on behalf of the Federal Emergency Management Agency was itself almost an equal disaster.
17. Iraq War, Inconsistent reasons for; reasons for the invasion of Iraq have been credited as the presence of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD), collusion with Al Qaeda cells, the imminent threat of Saddam Hussein, torture carried out under his regime, and astonishingly to bring stability to the region. The reasons change frequently.
18. Iraq War, Reconstruction following; massive looting and fraud by American government officials, corporations and contractors may be the largest corruption scandal in monetary terms in U.S. history.
19. Media, Prostitutes (The metaphorical kind); Columnists Armstrong Williams, Maggie Gallagher and [Michael McManus] are verified to have been paid by the Bush Administration in return for positive news coverage.
20. Media, Prostitutes (The real, gay, male kind); Press Corps correspondent Jeff Gannon is revealed to be a plant, paid to lob easy questions at White House press conferences. He's also revealed to be a totally hot gay prostitute. There is strangely less controversy among the hoi polloi than you'd think, which is probably good news for Log Cabin Republicans.
21. Mine Safety
22. National Security Agency Wiretapping Scandal; The Executive Branch supercedes its authority by illegally obtaining wiretaps against a number of American citizens.
23. Plame Affair; White House sources allegedly "out" CIA operative Valerie Plame as revenge against her husband, Bush administration critic Joseph C Williams.
24. Public Broadcasting, Politicization of: Brought to you by the letters G, O and P.
25. September 11, 2001, Immediate Response to; President George W Bush chooses to read a funny book to prechoolers rather than respond to the terrorist attacks occurring in New York and Washington DC.
26. September 11, 2001, Use for Political Gain; When you can't get all the mileage you want out of standing on a pile of rubble and dead bodies, try bringing it up every ten minutes or when the polls start to dip.
27. Tax cuts; President Bush has pushed tax cuts (which, despite his claims to the contrary, benefit the upper income brackets much more than any other group) since his first day in office regardless of the state of the economy or international affairs, becoming the first leader in world history to cut taxes during wartime.
28. Terrorist Attacks, Alleged; At times of political convenience, the Bush administration has claimed that its measures have prevented attacks on the mythical Liberty Tower in Los Angeles and the Brooklyn Bidge.
29. United Nations, ignoring of; Keeping in mind that doing this is one of the reasons why we allegedly invaded Iraq.
30. United Nations, lying to; See above.
31. Venezuela, involvement in 2002 coup; Because Hugo Chavez is just that scary